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Frederica Mathewes-Green's avatar

Way back in 1992 I was communications director for a pro-life referendum in Maryland. After a televised debate I looked around the room and noticed that the pro-lifers were relaxed, smiling, chatting with each other--and the pro-choice were rigid, grim, and cold. It was counter-intuitive because our side was likely to lose (we did, 40-60). Yet we had peace and good cheer, and they didn't. I still puzzle over that. Our faith in Christ was probably a big factor. Also, as Christians, we knew we were supposed to love each other, while people without that might feel comfortable back-stabbing and maneuvering for power. It's an interesting question.

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ElizabethAnne's avatar

Oh boy.

Rod, I’m gonna try to say this carefully to preserve the confidentiality of everyone involved, but you’ve got some off ideas about BPD.

In fact BPD is a very controversial diagnosis and one that is in flux. There’s not a whole lot we can say about it with absolute certainty.

However.

1) You cannot diagnose someone with BPD without a thorough evaluation by a professional.

2) part of what makes it so tricky is that BPD also looks like A LOT of things, including long term PTSD.

3) BPD is not an organic brain disorder in the same way schizophrenia is. BPD brains do show abnormalities but given the causes of BPD it’s likely an interplay of cause and effect.

The real cause is almost always deep childhood trauma.

This makes me DEEPLY skeptical of men who claim their wives have it during a divorce. Because if she has it now, she had it when you married her.

4) It’s incurable the same way depression is. No, there is no cure but there are a LOT of treatment options. It’s not insoluble.

You’re right that it can be difficult to get patients to recognize that they need treatment and BPD can be more resistant to that. Depression and anxiety make people miserable so they’re more likely to seek help than people with situations like BPD. But it’s not impossible. If someone has seen a therapist the therapist will recognize signs of BPD and offer evaluation and treatment.

I’m not trying to pick a fight here but you’ve got a dog in it already, so I think your take here isn’t accurate, and it’s inaccurate in a way that is potentially dangerous. Please, if you’re going to write about a medical condition, I beg you, don’t write it based on what you were told by a guy you know who claims his soon to be wife is BPD. Please talk to a professional first. Some of the things you have written here are irresponsible and contribute to how difficult it is for people who have BPD to seek and get treatment.

This isn’t something you can diagnose based on behavior at the end of a marriage.

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