*'Get Me Out Of Here!'

How Danny called out to his family from beyond the grave -- and they responded

I’m sending y’all an extra post today because this story is just extraordinary, and so hopeful. I’m passing this on to the entire readership, not just the paid subscribers, because people really need hope now. Paid subscribers alone can comment, though; I hope you’ll consider signing up. It’s only five dollars per month for at least five posts a week (though usually more), though I anticipate a price increase after the first of the year. I live in a country with 24 percent inflation, and I’m about to be double-taxed by the US government.

Anyway, a Catholic friend from the US is in Europe for a month or so on business, and came to Budapest over the weekend for a short visit. As we were walking along the Danube, he told me an amazing story about what happened to his family. I asked him if he would write it down so I can share it with y’all. He did, and I present it below. I gave him a free subscription to this newsletter to thank him for sending it to me. I suspect he will be reading the comments, so do keep that in mind as you respond.

Here’s the story:

Rod, thank you for letting me share this story with you. Something happened to my family in the summer of 2022 that really confirmed for us the reality of death, Judgment, heaven, hell, Purgatory, and the power or prayer.  In addition, it is clear to me that the Holy Spirit is very active in this world. His hand can be seen in many things, and things that may seem random or unrelated, can be understood in a very different light when viewed through the eyes of faith.

For background, I come from a big Catholic family of eight kids. And although we all went to Catholic school and our parents raised us Catholic, some of us have remained practicing Catholics, and others have more or less fallen away. My siblings and I are all adults now, and most are married with children, including me.

My youngest brother Dan is one of my siblings that gradually stopped practicing his faith. He never had any theological or moral objections to Catholic teaching. But like millions of Catholics, he just gradually stopped going to mass and receiving the sacraments, and just “fell away.” As a side note, and this will become relevant later—Dan was a fan of all things German and Austrian. Dan spoke German fluently, and he spent a summer in Austria. Dan absolutely loved Austria, and he often spoke fondly of his experiences there as it clearly held a special place in his heart.

In August of 2022 my family was on a beach vacation to North Carolina. Late at night one of the days during the vacation, Dan was involved in a freak accident. He was riding on a golf cart on a paved road and he jumped off to retrieve his hat. Dan must not have realized how fast the golf cart was traveling, and it probably did not help that he had been drinking, because when he jumped off he fell and hit his head on the pavement. The blow to his head was so severe that it fractured his skull and caused massive brain hemorrhaging. Tragically, Dan died as a result of his injuries. He was only 30 years old. 

It was very difficult for all of us to wrap our heads around his death. Dan was so young. None of us had a chance to tell him that we loved him or even say goodbye. One day he was with us, and the next he was gone.  Dan was buried with a proper funeral mass. And we did what we could to help his soul to reach heaven. As a Catholic, I firmly believe that those souls who are not quite ready for heaven, but not meriting hell, go to Purgatory. So my sister Julie and I offered many prayers and several masses for the repose of his soul.

Fast forward to June of this year, I met with my spiritual director and asked him how I could be more attentive and open to the Holy Spirit.  My question was completely unrelated to Dan, and was more focused on my desire to allow the Holy Spirit to be more present in my life. Fr. Jack, my spiritual director, encouraged me to ask our Lord to speak to me in my dreams. So I did. I prayed to God to allow me to be open to Him, and to speak to me in my dreams (among other ways) if it be His will.

A few weeks after my prayer, I had a dream that I will never forget. I had a dream about my brother Dan. This came as a complete surprise to me. I had been praying to God to speak to me, but this was not the kind of dream I was expecting.

In my dream, I was in a room with one of my other brothers, Jim.  In this room, our Danny was talking to us from beyond the grave. But in my dream, only my brother Jim could hear what Dan was saying. And this made sense on a certain level, because in life Jim was close to Dan, and certainly even closer to me. But in my dream I could talk to Dan, but I could not hear him, and neither of us could see him. But when Dan spoke, a bright light flickered on and off as he was talking. I asked my brother Jim in the dream what Dan was saying, and Jim relayed that Danny was telling us that he was in Purgatory, and that we did NOT want to come there. He also told us to avoid Purgatory at all costs. I asked Dan how to do that, and he said, “Draw a line around your life.” I had no idea what that meant. But right after he said that I awoke from my dream.

This experience shook me. Not in a way that a scary nightmare may leave you scared for a few moments, but because it really spoke to me. What’s more, I normally forget my dreams within minutes after I wake up, but this one was different. This dream was very vivid and very memorable. This dream was unlike any I had ever experienced before, or since.

It also shocked me because we had prayed so much for Danny, and offered so many masses for him, but he seemed to be telling me through this dream that he was still suffering greatly in Purgatory. I called my brother Jim immediately that morning and told him about my dream. Jim was very shocked, because he explained to me that that very same night (the previous night), his wife Margaret also had a dream about Dan. In her dream, a bunch of family members were sitting in a room together, and Dan was there too, and she was trying to convince Dan not to go to North Carolina because something terrible would happen.

A couple of days later I told my sister Julie about my dream, and about Margaret’s dream. Julie told me that her son Joseph, my nephew, also had a dream about Dan. Joseph was only 5 years old at this time, and he called my brother “Uncle Dan.” He knew Uncle Dan, but not too well.  Dan had lived in D.C. for the past few years, so Joseph never really got to know him well.  Anyway, Julie explained to me that her son Joseph had woken up crying and said that he had a scary dream. He told my sister that in his dream, he saw Uncle Dan, and he also saw flames. He reiterated that the dream was very scary, and he did not want to talk about it. But he did tell my sister that in his dream, Uncle Dan said to him, “Get me out of here!” Remember that phrase.

Needless to say, this really shocked some of us. I say some of us because I told all of my siblings about it. But the siblings that are not practicing Catholics thought it was interesting, but shrugged it off. But to my siblings and I that are still practicing Catholics, this was stunning. It seemed like too much to be a coincidence. I told my spiritual director about it, and he thought too that it seemed like Dan was trying to speak to us. He encouraged us to forgive him for anything we may not have forgiven him for, and to also ask his forgiveness for anything we had done to him. He also encouraged us to keep praying for him and offering up mortifications. So that is what we did.

My siblings and I that are still practicing Catholics redoubled our spiritual efforts. We forgave Dan for anything that we remembered, and even anything that we could not. We had more masses offered for the repose of Dan’s soul; we prayed more earnestly, and we offered personal sacrifices, such as fasting, cold showers, etc.

Our summer then continued on as normal. But after several weeks passed, my sister called to tell me about another dream that her son Joseph had. This time, it was not a scary dream. This time, Joseph said he saw Jesus in his dream. My sister asked him how he knew it was Jesus, and he told her because he saw a cross in his dream. He also said that Jesus asked him a question in his dream. As Jesus said, “Do you remember him?” Jesus pointed to Dan, who was standing near Jesus.

I wanted very badly to believe that this dream was true. If this dream was true, do I keep praying and offering sacrifices for the repose of his soul? Maybe he’s in heaven. But if he’s still in Purgatory, he will surely remain there longer if I stop offering prayers and sacrifices for him. On the other hand, this seemed to be a clear sign, and God often reveals things to children.

A few more weeks later, my wife, kids, and I were on vacation in South Dakota. We decided to go on a cave tour inside Wind Cave National Park. Wind Cave is a massive cave system several hundred feet underground, with over a hundred miles of explored cave tunnels, and many times more miles of unexplored cave. It is really impressive and worth seeing.

Bu while my family and I were on the tour I was holding my youngest child, Edmund. Dan never got to meet Ed, who was born almost two months after Dan died. But in honor of my brother, we named my son “Edmund Daniel.” Baby Ed was 10 months old at the time, and he started acting up while were on the tour. He started to get fussy, and in a very short time his fussiness turned into crying. The crying then turned into loud screaming. The worst part is that we were with a tour group of about 30-40 other people that were trying to enjoy the cave tour, and now my son was screaming at the top of his lungs. He was ruining the experience for the poor folks that happened to get stuck in our tour group.

I did everything I knew how to do to calm Edmund Daniel down. I tried rocking him back and forth, bouncing him, singing to him, etc. Nothing worked. So I began to pray. I prayed several prayers: first to God Himself. As a good Catholic, I also asked for the intercession of Mary, who is often quick to answer my desperate pleas. Not this time. I prayed again to God, and then asked several saints to intercede for me. Nothing. Ed just kept screaming louder and louder. Finally, in desperation, I looked up and said, “Danny please help me out.” Instantly, Ed stopped crying. He immediately ceased making any loud noises and softly fell asleep in my arms. It was absolutely miraculous. The tour continued peacefully and our tour companions were able to enjoy the tour as Edmund Daniel slept through the rest of the cave excursion.

I know that in the grand scheme of things most people would say this was a very small thing. Most would say the baby probably just got tired and fell asleep. But to me, it was no coincidence. I had a palpable feeling that my brother interceded for me, even if in a very small way.  I really began getting the feeling that perhaps Dan was in heaven after all. This cave episode seemed to confirm for me that wherever he is, he certainly has the ear of God.

Fast forward three months later, my wife and I were talking on the phone. She was telling me about a conversation she had with one of her friends. The friend, who, by the way knows none of this backstory, was explaining to my wife that she and her son were reading a book about a Catholic mystic named Maria Simma. Ms. Simma was born in 1915 and died in 2004. Ms. Simma was Austrian. 

Apparently, Ms. Simma was often visited by souls in Purgatory that asked her for things. Sometimes they would ask her for prayers, other times they would ask her to return something they had stolen in life, etc. A book was written based on interviews with Ms. Simma about the souls in Purgatory that visited her. Significantly, the book is called, Get Us Out Of Here.

These mystical, and seemingly random, unrelated events really changed the way I view the afterlife and this present life. I firmly believe that God gave us these experiences to help my brother Dan, but also to help us and to strengthen and nourish our faith.

Our lives matter. Our decisions matter. God loves us. Heaven, hell, and Purgatory are real. And what may seem like innocuous, random, chance occurrences in our lives, are all infused by the Holy Spirit, who is active and working in our lives for our salvation. We just need the eyes to see and the ears to hear. 

Orthodox Christians do not believe in Purgatory as the Catholic Church teaches it, but we do have a belief, not strictly defined, that the souls of some who die are still in a state of purification, and can benefit from the prayers of the living. (This OrthodoxWiki page gives you a general overview of the Orthodox teaching.) Though my friend who told me this story and I would disagree over precisely where his brother Dan was in the afterlife, we would agree that he was in a state of purification, and needed the prayers of the living to move on to be with the Lord.

You might recall the story I tell about how my late grandfather, who died in 1994, having committed a grievous sin against his son, my dad, lingered in the spirit around my dad’s house for a week, trying to get his attention. It was only when a Catholic exorcist and a charismatic Catholic seer came to visit and pray that they realized it was my grandfather’s soul; the seer told my father that God had somehow permitted my grandfather’s spirit to linger because he needed forgiveness — that is, he needed my father to forgive him so he could move on. Mind you, neither the priest nor the seer had any idea of how much my granddad had hurt my father in his final years. When they told this to my father, he forgave his dad. The priest blessed the house, then said a mass for the peace of my grandfather’s soul. There were no more problems there.

With this in mind, I made a point of saying clearly to my father as he lay on his deathbed in August 2015 that I had forgiven him anything he had done to hurt me. I asked him for forgiveness for things I had done to hurt him. He left this life in peace with his son. I had no paranormal events happen to me surrounding my dad’s death.

After hearing this story over the weekend from my friend, I recommitted myself to praying for the dead in my family. You never know. Growing up Protestant, it never occurred to me that this was a thing. In fact, it has been Christian tradition since virtually the beginning. It was the Renaissance-era Catholic Church’s abuse of the teaching of Purgatory (with selling indulgences) that brought it into severe disrepute in the Reformation. Again, the Orthodox model of sin and forgiveness is different from the Catholic model, so there are no such things as indulgences in Orthodoxy. Nevertheless, we pray for the dead, in part as a sign of love and care.

For a great explanation of how the idea of purgation after death works, read the staunchly Protestant C.S. Lewis’s short novel, The Great Divorce. Also, Dante’s Purgatorio, the middle book of his trilogy, is my favorite of the three volumes. You don’t have to believe in Purgatory to benefit from reading it, as it is an allegory of life on this earth after you become a Christian. As the book begins, Dante has left Hell and has arrived on the shores of the island that is Purgatory. Everyone who lands there has been saved by faith, but their repentance was imperfect. Though they have been saved from the consequences of their sins, they still have to be cleansed of the desire to sin — this, so they can bear the weight of God’s glory. In Paradiso, God’s presence is presented as an intense light that will annihilate those who lack the purity to receive it.

What makes Purgatorio so wonderful, at least to me, is to meet all the various sinners, and to hear their testimonies about how grateful they are for their salvation. Even the pains they suffer in purgation they give thanks for, because they know that eventually they are going to be strong enough to be reunited to God. In Dante’s telling, Purgatory is about one long trial of repentance, but it is also the place where forgiven sinners rebuild community and fellowship. The Inferno is a place where everyone is radically atomized, and Paradiso is a place where everyone is perfectly united to God and through God to each other, yet remaining distinct. Purgatorio is the middle place, and as such, allegorizes the Christian’s struggle in mortal life to die to himself so that God’s grace can heal him, and make him ready for Heaven. (By the way, I learned recently that they’re about to bring out a new edition of How Dante Can Save Your Life, which, of all the books I’ve written, remains my personal favorite.)

Anyway, I hope my friend’s amazing story of Dan delivered from Purgatory inspires you to pray for the souls of departed family members and others you love. God’s mercy is so great that He will even spare those whose faith was weak — but they need our prayers to be made capable of receiving God’s full glory.

I’m interested to know what you Protestant readers, and others who don’t believe in praying for the dead (whether or not you affirm the Catholic teaching of Purgatory), make of what happened to this family. If you don’t believe this is real, that’s fine, but please state your objections with respect for those who do. Incidentally, Luther believed in Purgatory for a while after the Reformation, saying in 1528,

As for the dead, since Scripture gives us no information on the subject, I regard it as no sin to pray with free devotion in this or some similar fashion: “Dear God, if this soul is in a condition accessible to mercy, be thou gracious to it.” And when this has been done once or twice, let it suffice."

Later, he changed his mind and denied it entirely.

Finally, here is a link to a page that tells you what the early church believed about this middle state between Hell and Heaven. All Christians believed in some form of Purgatory until the Reformation. And you may benefit by reading what Benedict XVI said about Purgatory here.

I didn’t say the name of my friend, or give Danny’s last name, to preserve the privacy of the family. But I found a memorial page for Danny, and gazed at his happy face for a while. I didn’t know the man, but it filled my heart with joy to know that he is with the Lord now, at peace, in part because his large family (he was one of eight kids) prayed intensely for him after his untimely passing.

Please, if it doesn’t violate your theological convictions, stop right now and pray for your departed family members. You have no idea how much good you might do. And if you hold something against them, please forgive them. This is what I’m going to be working on myself.

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